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[29 Nov 2008|02:01am] |
dear you,
you've been blowing me off lately, telling me you'll see me and then not bothering - and not tellig me why. you ignore my texts 90% of the time. I don't know wha I t's going on with us, but I wish you'd just tell me. I'm about ready to say buh bai. I deserve better then this. I deserve someone who will give me the time of day, and actually mean it when he says I love you. Even if it feels like I'm going to die everytime I think about leaving you, there was a time before you, and there will be again..or so people keep telling me. Don't make me prove how strong I can be. Shape up, or let me know what the hell is going on so I can move on possibly. k? kay. I'm going to go finish getting drunk now, and maybe I'll give YOU a drunken, rambling phone call at four in the morning. See how you like it.
love,
me.
dear you,
im a bit drunk right now, and I know we're going to be falling asleep in the same bed. Thank god Bri will be between us because I kind of liked you before you went off to boot camp, and with the way Brady is making me feel right now, I wouldn't feel guilty about welcoming you home. That sounds so horribly skanky, but i'm not going to do it I swear, even if you are adorable and everyone keeps making jokes about us jumping each other. yeah, no. Brady would try to murder you and I'd feel like the whore of babylon, even if I am going to possibly break up with said jerk face. So, I hope you're enoying your shower right now, and please do not tempt me later. Due to the jaeger, rum, and my sheer willingness to not fucking care about Bradys feelings right now I'd most likely give in.
glad you're back,
me.
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[28 Nov 2008|12:03am] |
dear you,
why can't you see that i'm trying so hard to stay around? you keep disappointing me and i feel like you don't care. but then you come back and say how sorry you are and that you love me. you say you are trying to make this work too, but are you? what if i want you to try harder? i'm so over this feeling.
love always,
me
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[24 Nov 2008|06:12pm] |
dear sister,
i truly despise you. i never thought it was right or could be possible to hate another family member so much.
you're selfish and materialistic. you treasure your precious phone more than your own mother. as long as you get what you want, you don't care what happens to the well-being of others. you've made our mother cry more times than i can count. can't you see she wants nothing but the best for us and sacrifices so much to keep us happy?
you make snide comments to mom, your friends, and myself. you believe you hold the secrets of the universe, when in truth you're just a pathetic little girl with nothing but her looks going for her.
i tried to give you a chance, but for the umpteenth time you have crushed my hopes for you of ever becoming somewhat humane.
because i cannot accept you for what you are, i cannot fathom ever loving you. you disgust me. you're an absolute demon to those around you.
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[24 Nov 2008|03:33pm] |
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mood |
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 confused |
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Dear You,
You called me to tell me your ex is engaged. Your psycho ex who put you through hell, who you were on and off with, who fucked you in the head pretty bad. You called to tell me that you don't know how to feel about her being engaged.
Here's how I think you should think:
YOU SHOULDN'T FUCKING CARE! You've been broken up 5 years now. I don't give two shits if she was your first everything, it's a load, ok? A fucking load. Do you honestly think she still thinks about you? That skank? Bitch please.
But you made me realize something that I had as solid fact in my mind once before but somehow it grew mushy and confusing. You sat there and rattled off all these facts about her, and your relationship with her. I asked you when your current gf's birthday was. You didn't really know. Didn't know my birthday either. And you said something as a excuse, and it just........hit me the wrong way. "there's always one you just can't let go..."
You probably don't have the slightest clue that you're that one to me. You're the one I can't forget, the one I constantly forgive, the one I'd give up everything for, the one I'd drop anyone for..........you're that one for me. But hearing you talk about her like that, just made me so not want to be like this. I don't want to sit around, pining and waiting for you.
I don't want to have this connection with you that I can't find in any other guy. I don't want to see all the little weird details that make it seem like we were meant to be, that we fit so perfectly....I don't want any of it. I want to be blissfullly ignorant of it all.
I shut it off once, but I don't know if I can do it again...
I don't want to wait for you, I can, and I probably will wait, but I'm not willing anymore.
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[20 Nov 2008|11:43pm] |
Dear me,
Just because he sent you a text message to wish you a happy birthday doesn't mean that he's going to stick around for you. He needs to do what's best for him and quite honestly, do you want him to stick around for you if he's all sorts of screwed up? You need to chill. And stop reading too far into things. Seriously. Get. A. Grip.
Love,
Yourself.
Dear you,
Thanks for the text message. It pretty much made my whole day. I wasn't counting on you remembering and the fact that you did...well I haven't stopped smiling since. Also, I miss you and I can't wait til work on Monday so I can see you.
Are you sure you really need to go to Boston?
Love,
Me.
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[20 Nov 2008|09:00pm] |
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mood |
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 busy |
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music |
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"Chinese Democracy" - Guns N' Roses |
] |
Dear You,
Goddamn it took you and the big suits over a week to decide what to do about the broken machine. I don't know what pisses me off more. That or the fact all these eleven-hour shifts I'm working won't give me any overtime. Maybe two hours worth, if I'm lucky.
Thanks For Nothing, Assholes,
Me
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Dear Guns N' Roses,
The local rock radio station I regularly listen to today was playing tracks from your next album, Chinese Democracy, at the top of every hour. I haven't heard all of the songs yet, and so far I'm still a little iffy about buying the CD. However, I really do enjoy listening to "Better".
Still Waiting To Be Impressed,
Me
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Dear Me,
Damn you know you're old when you look at ANN's "Buried Treasure" article today and see them talking about Serial Experiments: Lain. Why? Because the series is ten years old. Well, crap.
Whoa Dude,
Me
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[20 Nov 2008|11:51am] |
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mood |
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 pissed off |
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Dear you,
I want to make one thing perfectly clear: I still love you. You're still my sister, no matter how stupid your decisions are. Ty for example. You are letting this guy direct your life. Your grades are slipping, you aren't working as much and you are alienating your friends. We all hate him. But you love him so blindly that we can't say anything. Not that you would listen to us. Why would you? We were right about Josh lying to you and cheating on you, we were right about Kody dealing drugs, and we were right about Max being chauvanistic, malipulative pig, but why would we be right now? Just remember something for me. When he loses his temper and hits you or when he gets you kicked out, blame him. Him and yourself, because we tried to help you and you told us, in no uncertain terms, that we don't know what the hell we're talking about and as such we need to shut up and leave you alone. So I am, in more than one way.
Sincerly,
me.
P.S. I'm still going to murder you for putting my nice, expensive SILVER rings in BLEACH. What. The. Hell. If your jeweler can't fix it, you WILL be paying to have them reset, I don't care how broke you are. Your screw up, you fix it. Welcome to the real world.
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[19 Nov 2008|09:32pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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pissed off |
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| [ |
music |
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Cradle of Filth - Nemesis |
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Dear You,
( coarse language )
Much venomous hate,
Me
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[19 Nov 2008|08:01pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 tired |
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| [ |
music |
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"My Apocalypse" - Metallica |
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Dear You,
You make me almost hate being right about you. I had that feeling you would do something worse but I tried keeping that tiny sliver of hope alive that you would finally learn your lesson. How wrong I was. I mean, seriously, how did you expect to sell 60% of a company behind everyone's back? Oh well, it's a very good thing my friend made sure you and him created a contract between you two that was authorized by your own lawyer. Because now he can take that proof to said lawyer and, assuming said lawyer says he can do it, sue you for breach of contract. If it does happen at the very least my friend will take his 40% of the store in equipment and leave your ass hanging in debt. What would make that more enjoyable to me is the fact my friend doesn't mind grabbing me one of the computer monitors from the back room.
Please Screw Up Again So I Can Get More Free Stuff,
Me
--------------------------------
Dear Tatsuya Abe,
( Continue under here )
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[18 Nov 2008|08:47pm] |
dear you,
being close is fine. the 'i love yous' are fine, and appreciated, and flattering. but telling your ex-girlfriend that you wake up every morning and wish she was by your side and that the fantasy makes you smile? that's going a little far. i'm sorry, i'm not who you want me to be right now. i'm not nice, i'm not going to lie, and i'm not your girlfriend.
stuff like that just makes me feel like shit, okay? i know you're itching to be mine still. there's a difference between that and saying 'i love you', because i've told my very close friends i love them too at one point or another.
god, i know i fucked up. i know i'm stupid. i know i suck. i know you're hurting. i know i'm the one who hurt you and everything i do keeps on hurting you. but half of that shit .. it's not my fault. and i'm not about to own up to it like it is, alright? the things i say, i mean, and if you don't want to believe it then fine, whatever. don't believe it. but that doesn't mean it suddenly became untrue.
i wish you'd stop acting like i've suddenly altogether stopped caring just because of one instance. it's the shit that really makes me want to drown myself or something just so i don't have to keep feeling so fucking guilty.
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[18 Nov 2008|05:46pm] |
dear me,
you're pathetic. you're still so helplessly in love with someone you promised to be 'just friends' with.
get it into your thick skull; she. does not. love you.
stop pushing yourself onto her. stop telling her you still love her. for heavens sake, stop spilling your heart out to her.
you're making her uncomfortable and you're making a fool of yourself.
get the fuck over it,
you
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